Shanghai is a modern city, people tend to be open-minded, but visits to smaller towns nearby have shown me a different side to gay life in China. But I’ve never heard of any violence or ‘gay-bashing’ in China. Parents expect a lot from their one child: a good career, a nice house, a nice husband or wife and descendants. The one-child policy means there’s a lot of pressure for gay sons to get married. There’s no religion to keep people afraid of living openly here, but family does. Most of the Chinese gay people I’ve met are in the closet though.
And because I’m far from home I am open to trying new experiences and feel more confident.
I meet my fellow ‘tongzhi’ (literally, comrade, now slang for gay men) on the internet, with the Gay Radar app (a Chinese Grindr), or even in public places – restaurants, libraries, museums, trains, swimming pools! One look at my rainbow bracelet and a discreet smile is enough to start a conversation.īeing a white guy in an Asian country helps: people are really curious and particularly welcoming. The longer I stayed in the city, practicing my university-studied Chinese, I realised it is a huge gay playground. She was frustrated because she spent the night flirting with a girl, who pretended to be straight at the end. When I got back to my hostel I met a girl who had just come back from a lesbian bar which organised a giant ‘truth or dare’ with the patrons. People looked like they were really shedding their inhibitions and having fun. It felt like a shelter from the outside world, as it’s underground and there is a maze of corridors and alcoves. My friend and I were among just a few foreigners there that night.
The first day I arrived I visited Shanghai Studio, a gay club. The reality is far different, I actually feel like a more confident gay man here than I did at home in France. I assumed China would be homophobic country and I was prepared to hide my sexuality while I was here. I had actually had to stop telling my friends that I was coming to China because of all the scaremongering and stereotypes about the country that I got in return. I first arrived in Shanghai with heaps of luggage and as much apprehension.